These questions seem to just dig deep into your chest, rip out your heart and squash the freaking shit out of it.
I have a tendency to think on the ‘what if’ side of things. Honestly, it’s not my fault, well it probably is but still, I always try to think positively and I always try to smile, but once something negative is said to me or something negative happens, it’s always ‘what if this’ and ‘what is that’.
Lately these questions have been flooding my head and it is tearing me apart.
I’d like to think that recently I have become more mature and taking more responsibilities for my actions and I’m really happy to say that it’s been noticed by the people around me, but then people I barely even know, people I see once every now and then, come in and say all this smack about me and I end up questioning myself; questioning my efforts, my potential.. everything.
How dare you even try to open your mouth when you don’t even know me? How dare you make me feel this way? What is your problem? I know my place, I know where I belong. Learn your place and back the fuck off. Haven’t you heard, ‘If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all?’
I’d like to think that after getting things off my chest, I’d be feeling better, but to be honest, this time; it’s not going to be that easy. Why? Because this time, I’m not just thinking about myself, I’m thinking about you too. I really hope you appreciate, that I’m hurting so you can be happy. I really didn’t mind before, if you were happy, I didn’t mind how much hurt I had to go through, but this time is different, you made it different this time.
As you always say, ‘Be Strong!~’
I’ll try, but I’m not promising anything.
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